My "Friend" Came to Visit

My "friend" came to visit last weekend and it made me want to twirl around, wear white, kick the seashore, and do leg kicks. You know the saying and you know the ridiculous ads for that most glorious time of month that my buddy in LA refers to as, "the time I'm bleeding like a stuck pig." Sorry to be graphic but let's get real. And finally Kotex has. Check out these hilarious ads.

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpypeLL1dAs&feature=player_embedded
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOM4AMV050A&feature=player_embedded
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkkTeAP8d5o&NR=1
  

A real friend, a human, did come to visit last weekend from Sag Harbor, NY. Liz Joyce is a Jim Henson award winning puppeteer and one fine singer. She performs Minkie the Monkey shows at her Goat on a Boat Theater in the Hamptons and if you have any connections to the children's TV world, bring 'em on. >>>> see Minkie Time promo >>>>

Although I coaxed her down to Maryland with puppet show performances, we also had an extraordinary night at our local and only restaurant in Old Town Kensington - Cafe 1894. It was Boovie Night (book/movie club) but we didn't talk so much about Girl With a Dragon Tattoo because there was a piano player and Gina B's crutches became microphones while Liz belted out the Boss' 10th Ave Freeze-out. That's when I actually did leg kicks in my white pants and twirled for joy that my friend came to visit.

The Bee Charmer

A Southern peach exudes a thing or two about beauty that makes her one nice piece of fruit. Here is the know-how that came rushing back as we enjoyed a bluegrass hootenanny.

• The higher the hair, the closer to heaven. While the days of Final Net are thankfully over, they served their purpose. Many a gal had pageant hair and some had to support a tiara back in the day. Now it is about BIG SEXY HAIR and it is inspiring. I bought the hair spray as a consolation.
• If there's music, shake your money maker. My pappy doesn't walk around, he jigs like there is a soundtrack playing through his day. There were lots of people feeling the music, including my Gigi who was workin' her skirt on the dance floor.
  
• Wear lipstick - the redder the better. It makes your teeth look whiter. Now if you know me for 5 minutes, I'm re-applying my Plum Dandy or Viva Glam. Mama n'em told me "presentation is everything."
• Find your nature in nature. The sign at the Wetlands said, "You may touch the beaver... very very gently." Had to get a close-up...

• There are lots of uses for the phrase "bless your heart." We have an 80 year old relative who pats a man's bottom instead of hugging him while she bestows her blessing. I figure, when you're 80, you can do whatever you want. She initiated Dan into the family at the Cecil Family Fish Fry a few years back and he liked it enough to stay. It is especially useful to use the line when someone needs a hug OR OR OR if you find them offensive. There was a lady at the bluegrass festival holding a 3 month old baby with a litter of other toddlers around her. She asked the snake wrangler at the reptile exhibit, "Do you have a small python, I have little kids." I sent her a bless your heart thought, as much for her question as for her Mohawk. (She's not in this picture but there is the python.)
  
• Charm and good manners open a door as good as an ivy league education. There is no other way to explain the opportunities I had in my career - working in London, Hong Kong, promotions, management positions. It's about respect for others in this "me" world. More times that I can shake a stick at, my kids hear my recording, "Say, thank you. Say please. Try again with your manners." And at the hoedown, we got extra BBQ sauce! It made me repeat one of my favorite movie lines from Fried Green Tomatoes, "You are a bee charmer." Towanda!
  

Hot Dates

The air is frisky with Spring and it's making me woozy. It could also be the pollen. Or maybe it is the mating-ritual-laden series on Discovery, "LIFE." Whatever the reason, I'm feeling generous. After teasing my hubby for being a "nancy boy" on the Disney roller coaster (see video on "Is there Magic" entry), it is time to do a tribute to the man who still gives me the vapors. Danny, I loves ya.

A woman sat on my kitchen counter not long ago and found a note that Danny B had written to me. It was on the inside of the cabinet door on a post-it note and she sniffed it out. In a dumbfounded tone, she asked, "Do you still have sex with your husband?!" She was shocked and I realized it meant that she is not so hot for teacher anymore. As I look around, this issue is pretty common.

I get it, after a few years, the thrill is gone...unless you work at it. One of my bestest friends recently gave me inspiration. She encourged me to show up in a wig and trench coat for an airport visit to deliver various items to Dan as he scurried from one city to another. Although I didn't do it, it was a brilliant idea that I'll keep in my back pocket.

Ok, your partner bugs you, doesn't give enough, has changed since you met. But you're with this person and if you committed, you gotta work that skirt to keep the love alive. For my man's birthday, I sent him flowers, baked him whoopie pies, and took him out on a date. We write each other notes and text each other. I want hot dates until I'm 100.

Here is my HOT DATES appetizer that will make your love fawn all over you...I promise, it's the best and people rave about it. Watch the video>>>>>

HOT DATES RECIPE
24 dates
goat cheese
walnuts
bacon

Pit the dates, spread in the goat cheese, stuff in a walnut, wrap in bacon (seam-side down).
Bake at 400 degrees for 15-20 minutes...broil a little longer if you need a little crispness.
Serve up those hot dates and watch your friends melt with happiness

Wanna Play?

People sometimes ask where workin that skirt comes from. It's living large and sizzling up life. Kids inherently know how to do it - they wear costumes, get absorbed in a sport, they lose themselves in an activity. Watching my little people inspires me to get into that zone.

Gigi's play date with her friend Emma gave me a perfect opportunity to work that skirt. I was in my sweat pants cooking grilled cheese sandwiches when the girls started getting fancy in dress-up clothes. They invited me to join in the fun and I said, "YES!" Instead of checking email, putting dishes away, folding laundry, blah blah blah, I got dolled up in a fab number. There were applications of makeup, jewels, heels, and ooo la la sparkle lotion. We turned it into a "little ladies who lunch" party by unraveling the sparkle tablecloth and adorning it with the "plates and tea cups from China" that Nana gave us. We danced to princess music and spun around until we were dizzy. I think I liked it more than the four year olds.

A lot of adults need an excuse to cut loose, such as a birthday party or a special occasion. Something gets lost between the time we are three years old and being a grown up. Inhibitions creep in. Put-downs crop up. But there really isn't any time for it. We have one life to live on this planet. Play big no matter what you are doing even if it means frolicking in a fancy dress on a Tuesday afternoon with two little girls.

Capture the Magic

TRY TO READ THIS STORY IN A HUSHED, 1940's PRINCESS VOICE...

Once upon a time there was a family that took a trip to a faraway land. After their plane ride, they checked into a Caribbean hotel, ventured forward on a 30 minute bus ride, and entered a place where dreams come true. However, wet, cold, pouring rain threatened to ruin their expedition. The mother had a brilliant idea - explore the kingdom in bewitching ponchos. They made their way through Adventureland, Tomorrowland, Frontierland, and Fantasyland. Then the parents went in search for Liquorland, much to no avail.

The children were even more wide-eyed as the voyage continued. An elevator ride in a terrifying tower caused Gigi's leg to shake uncontrollably. And the family was attacked by a T-rex! Along the way, they met some fantastical characters. David Dean battled Darth Vader with a lightsaber. A princess with a really, high-pitched voice coveted Gigi's headband. Nose-kisses were given to each of the children by a giant mouse and his girlfriend.

Before they could return home, the father's mission was to "capture the magic." He seized a moment of enchantment by recording a video during a trek up Mt. Everest. It indicates that the children are thrill seekers, however, the father screams like a "Nancy Boy." The mother is overjoyed by the wondrous hooting and hollering of the father. Of course, he says he was playing it up for his young son. With mission accomplished, they return to Prospect Street and LAUGH happily ever after.

VIDEO - Roller coaster, wa who who who

My "Sweet Mama's Chocolate Chip Cookies"

My mom and dad came to visit from Atlanta and something really overwhelmed me. It wasn't the rodents running around on the table during the dinner with cousins from Baltimore. Nor was it surprising that Gigi sat STILL while getting her first mani-pedi for her 4th birthday. And I wasn't even shocked to learn that at Mt. Vernon where George Washington lived and decorated the interior of his house in extreme colors, he "allowed" Martha to design ONLY one room (which I thought was in the best taste - white on white). The amazing thing is that I'm flooded with appreciation for my parents because of the love they give my kiddies.

After endless hours of Legos and makeup applications to grandma AND grandpa, we did something I used to do with my mom in our kitchen on Vesta Brook Lane in Morrow, GA - hold a dough throwing contest. Roll the cookie dough in a ball and use it as target practice in your child's mouth. Ok, so the USDA recommends cooking the eggs before eating them but body-builders eat raw eggs. My research revealed from Yahoo Answers that, "The average person would come across a contaminated egg only once in 42 years." Supposedly if you get cage-free eggs, the chances are even lower. I've been eating batter all my life and never gotten sick from the incredible edible egg. Fingers crossed because I'm 43 and my time could be up. However, I'll take the risk of one pukey day to eat more oodles of dough balls.

My mom created this recipe by modifying several others and it is the BEST. They are called "Sweet Mama's" because my mom deserves all the props a daughter could give her sweet mama.

VIDEO - Sweet Mama's Chocolate Chip Cookies >>>>>

RECIPE - My "Sweet Mama's Chocolate Chip Cookies"
Preheat oven 375 degrees
Blend wet ingredients with mixer on medium for 5 minutes, until super creamy:
3/4 c sugar
3/4 c brown sugar
1 c butter
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
Add and blend until doughy on low:
1 tsp soda
1 tsp salt
3 c flour (pour in 1 cup at a time)
Stir in, by hand, 1 bag of chocolate chips and 1 c chopped walnuts
Bake for 8-10 minutes on 375. Make sure you take them out when they are a tad gooey.

Reinvention Convention

I joke that I'm on the Madonna Reinvention Tour because I'm looking for my next career move. The bullet bra inspires a transformation. Will I continue being a producer, or become a pastry chef, a teacher, a burlesque dancer? I know women who were born again by following a dream...a dream of starting a mommy-bootie camp business, selling multi-million dollar homes, or owning a spray-on tanning boutique to the stars. Some people just want to transform a little, by losing weight, getting promoted, having a child, traveling. Whatever the passion that is brewing, say YES.

I recently attended The School of Womanly Arts Reinvention Night. My friend, Regena Thomashauer, who has inspired me lots and lots and lots over the years is doing amazing things with conventions full of hundreds of women getting jazzed by re-imagining their lives. There we are in Regena's dressing room, goofing around on the set of the show we created for Rainbow Media. That's not my real hair. Wigs are fun!<<<<<

The best line in NYC about reinvention was that it is like "throwing your saddle on the back of the unknown and taking a ride on a nameless longing." Last year, on the train/bus rides back and forth to NY city, I started writing, which was the impetus for this blog. Recently Cheryl Richardson, the lifestyle makeover coach, who did a series on Oprah, attended a Womanly Arts class and she raves about it. (See picture of Cheryl and link >>>>) The Womanly Arts have helped me over the years get rid of anger and have more love. How can that be wrong?!

If you are curious to see what is it like to walk into one of these Womanly Arts get-togethers, check out the video below (that I shot and edited). And if you're surrounded by people who want to cut their nuts off, join me in the Mastery class where you will be embraced by women who are tapped into their pleasure.

Womanly Arts Reinvention Night VIDEO

Taming Chaos

We have the "cleanest home in America" according The Cleaning Authority. They must have a criteria that when it is time to tidy, one simply moves junk into another location, like a closet or a basket. This marketing ploy was sent by a DC cleaning company and upon opening the brochure, it teases, "Your home isn't the cleanest? It could be..." While making fun of me, they're also playing into a dream that I could actually be organized even though I'm not a label maker.

When I first got the flyer, it cracked me up. I thought, "Who wants that award?" But after perusing covers at the magazine stand, it is evident that neat-nicking is a big desire for people. Oprah's issue is all about de-cluttering. Real Simple gets ya organized, filed, and stashed. It really hit home when a friend said she did a lot of "straightening up" during the blizzard. All the while, I was hoarding recipes and trying them out for snow parties and video blogs (see entry titled MISO HAPPY for aphrodisiac cooking video).

There is truth to the phrase spring cleaning. The swelling of the buds signals change is in the air. Last weekend a frenzy of getting-it-together overtook me. I went through toys to give away to Goodwill. I'm in the process of converting our paper calendar to the computer. I even beautified my lingerie by getting see-through drawers so that I can admire my pretty panties. And for off-season stashing, the under-the-bed shoe organizer is sure to do the trick.

But the magazine tear sheets, school papers, work folders, and mail are entangling me in chaos. Gotta file because the tax deadline is looming. It stresses me out just typing this entry while I think about when I am going to pre-clean before the housekeeper comes tomorrow. Maritza, the sparkle fairy, is coming to spruce up the house with her magic vacuum before my parents arrive on Friday morning. Let's see how long the pine smell lasts but as Dan would say, "Cyndy, you like your piles." Maybe I should just hang an air freshener and have a dance party.

MISO HAPPY - Love You Long Time

How was your Valentine's Day? Some people think it is a Hallmark holiday but I feel that any chance to get sexy & exchange presents is FAB U LOUS! We geared up a week before V Day by hosting our dinner club with an aphrodisiac meal. I was Chef Cupid in the kitchen serving up miso-glazed cod with wasabi mashed potatoes and bok choy with green onions/sesame oil/cashews. The goal was to get everyone flaming with love.

If you want a new recipe for fish, this is the one. We had it at Proof in DC and I felt I needed it in my life on a regular basis. Recipes are below and here's an attempt at Culinary Seduction (the show I always wanted to produce). Keep in mind I just recently learned how to edit and only started shooting with my new HD camera this January. Forgive me a bit and you'll have a great menu with booty facts about food you might never have heard before, i.e. Potatoes were called "testicles of the Earth" by Spanish explorers. I credit two books, Intercourses and Seduction and Spice. Hope you get lucky!

MISO HAPPY VIDEO >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
RECIPES:
cod
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ellie-krieger/miso-glazed-cod-recipe/index.html

bok choy with cashews
http://simplyrecipes.com/recipes/baby_bok_choy_with_cashews/

wasabi mashed potatoes
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Wasabi-Mashed-Potatoes-101027

chocolate dessert of your choice - ya gotta see Gina B for her decadent chocolate souffles

Kiaser Snowze

Our grocery store is completely empty with the exception of people blitzing for the last box of hot chocolate. No milk, no veggies, no bananas. I had to use several of my womanly charms to convince the butcher to grind for me (grind meat, you saucy monkey!). Today's storm is affecting 50 million people. Our lights are flickering. A power line is hanging in the middle of Prospect Street. The winds are expected to be 45 mph this afternoon. Thirty inches of snow hit us last week and another ten are coming down as I type this entry! We've already spent a week blowing snow, creating forts, and snowball fighting. What is one to do with all this snow?
MAKE ICE CREAM!

Snow Ice Cream recipe
1/2 c half & half or whole milk
1/4 c sugar
1/4 tsp vanilla
4 c clean snow

stir, stir, stir

add choc sauce and/or choc chips if you want

eat, eat, eat

Recalculating

There's a video on YouTube about social economics that every person should see. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ILQrUrEWe8 The staggering facts: "If Facebook was a country, it would be the world's 4th largest. 1 in 8 couples married last year met via social media. You Tube hosts a billion views a day." Digital media is mass media now. We are wi-fi, SMS, itext, and stay connected on a jet. However, the nagging need to update one's status makes me wonder if we are following technology like a bunch of lemmings.

A friend of mine said yesterday, "I'm a map person" and I completely understood. We have a GPS but mine is a techno-bitch. The robbers who broke into our car last summer must have know about her nasty disposition which explains why they left the system in my car. (See Dreamweaver entry.) The GPS lady screams at me when I don't get follow directions properly. She starts with a determined, "Turn in 53 feet." Why can't she provide directions in lingo that I understand? How about, "hang a ralph at the second right" or "turn in 2 blocks"? As I progressively get turned around on one-way DC streets, she yells "recalculating" over and over again until the urge to press on makes me want to jump off a cliff, like a lemming.

People are migrating to have the next, new, or best electronic game - iphone apps, Wii, DX, PSP, Xbox, PS3. "Deuce" (that's David Dean's game name) currently seems obsessed with Mario, Speed Racer and Lego Star Wars. "Can I play the Wii now?" "When can I play the Wii?" And to think that we bought it so that I could get fit? We decided to reset game time to be only on the weekends. After school plays is now old school play. Deuce is using his imagination, playing with actual Legos, dressing up, coloring, and light saber fighting with Gigi.

I feel pressure that we are being pushed into the sea as more and more gadgets arrive at the shore. The great digital divide is happening with the trendsetters and the trend followers. The best way to stay a "shiny happy person" is to set tech limits, according to New Scientist magazine, which I read at the gym while simulating a run on the treadmill with Black Eyed Peas Now Generation blasting in my ipod earbuds.

Logging out...

Homey Don't Play Dat

When you pay someone to do a job or service for you, don't ya think they should appreciate the hard-earned money you are giving them? My Southern upbringing influenced the notion that if money is exchanged, kindness and a thank you are in order. But there are times when that doesn't happen...

Moving to a new city requires one to re-establish the support system of doctors, dentists, babysitters, "go-to" stores, and beautification experts. One of the luckiest connections was with my hairdresser of three years, but because of a recent incident, I broke up with him. The conflict started last year - after growing my hair for months, I went in for an easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy trim. A few weeks after that appointment, I pulled a 360 and went in again with a picture of a shoulder-length January Jones style. My stylist became a scene-king and chopped my hair several inches shorter than the picture! Why couldn't he just re-cut my hair, take my money and send me on my crazy way? As I left the salon feeling ugly, a line from the past popped into my head - "I don't think so! Homey don't play dat!" Bye bye.

With this new found courage, I took a hard look at other providers in our life. We haven't been thrilled with our pediatric office for a while. The doctors are amazing but the front desk rudeness is unnecessary and the gestapo nurses require a bleeding, wheezing child to get in the door. Forget that Gigi had a fever for 3 days of 104! Forget that David Dean had strep 4 times in 3 months and we want another strep culture. Forget about calling after hours if a certain doctor is on call - she'll hang up on you if it is not an emergency. (It happened!) Finally, I said, "I don't think so! Homey don't play dat!"

Our children have never seen "In Living Color" and they don't know Homey D. Clown but they have heard the line over the years. It is especially useful when the kids are fighting. Just last night Gigi recited it but she thinks the phrase is "mommy don't play that," which works just fine for me.

The Worst Rule Ever!

by Brooks Kenny, a guest blogger who is workin' that skirt -- Brooks sizzles up a room with her laughter, she encourages anything that is fun, has been known to juggle three nannies in one month, and is one of the most generous people I know. Here's her story of a tea party for Martin Luther King, Jr.

Martin Luther King Jr.'s Birthday --a day the kids are off from school, parents work here and there, and we all sleep in a few extra minutes. It is a day filled with opportunities. Ours started with my Sean (3) drooling on me in my bed. About 5 minutes later, I feel a tap on my shoulder. It is my beautiful 5 year old, Paige. Her first words, "Mom, can you get the tea ready for our breakfast party? It is Martin Luther King's Birthday...and, it is my Lamby's birthday too." (Can't forget her first lovey, Lamby!) "In 5 minutes," I say with a yawn. "Pleeeseee...Moooom!" When I arrive in the kitchen, I search for drinkable tea for my young kids (red raspberry, best choice, add lots of sugar). I take out our tea cups (yes, Grandma, the breakable ones). When I approach the family table, I couldn't help but smile.

Paige and Sean had stacked books on each of the 6 chairs around the table. On each stack of balancing books was one of their guests - another lamb, a doll, teddy bear. I poured the tea. Pete made the eggs and toast. As we ate, I asked Sean and Paige what they knew about the day we were celebrating. Sean said "Martin Luther King JUNIOR never gave up. He tried and tried."

Paige said, "Mom, do you know about the rules they had when he was alive, before he went to heaven?" "Yes," I replied. "But, tell me what you mean." "Well," my determined daughter said, "people with brown skin were not allowed to play with people with white skin. And, people with brown skin could not go to good schools, eat at restaurants, or play in the same pools as people with white skin." I asked her what she thought about that rule. She said, without hesitation, "Mom, that is the worst rule I have ever heard of. Does that mean that if I lived back then, I would not be able to be friends with Diana?" Diana is Paige's closest friend at school. Diana is more than friend to Paige. She takes care of her. She walks with her hand in hand to P.E. (Paige is scared of dodgeball - who can blame her?). I put my arms around her and said, “We have a lot to be thankful for. We can thank Martin Luther King, Jr. that Diana is your friend, and that you get to play with her every day at school. And that we can treat everyone we know with kindness.”

So, tonight, I thank Martin Luther King Jr, for having a dream and for giving our children a world where treating people who are different from us is "the worst rule ever!"

Brooks is a mom, wife, and the Chief Marketing Officer of Lotsa Helping Hands, a business that helps organize community support to families who have experienced an illness or death, care giving for an aging parent, and assistance to military families who feel alone when a spouse is deployed.

Pants on the Ground

The new year brings about pressure to make resolutions and somehow in all the commotion of the holidays I forgot to think about changes for 2010. How liberating...no pressure to lose weight or save money. The only thing I want to do this year is keep my pants OFF the ground.

The blizzard-like conditions in December made lots of people disheveled for a while. Just before Christmas, it was a close call when an SUV practically mowed me over at the grocery store parking lot. The driver probably wanted my cart because there were not ANY to be found. The only way to get a buggie was to emulate Reed Timmer from Storm Chasers and track someone as they exited the store, follow them to their car like a tornadomonger, and wait while that person finished unloading. Inside the store was complete mayhem also. A guy in the isle beside me warned not to leave my buggie because someone stole his with all of his food items when he walked away. Maybe the perp had "poor visibility" but I'm thinking, "It's DC - no cart left behind." And don't forget the biggest snowball fight in DC's history. Hundreds of people had fun and games until a bystander took a hit in the shoulder and pulled out his revolver. Turns out he is actually a lawman and the whole city had their panties in a wad.

While these cold winter months encourage me to do everything counter to the typical resolutions, I somehow feel inspired by Larry Platt who performed last night on Atlanta's American Idol. He has what the Italians call Fuoco nelle vene - fire in the veins. The man is 60-something years old and sang his original song "Pants on the Ground." He's got it right - be proud of who you are. POTG!

Nutty or Nice?

I am fighting the symptoms of Dunlop Disease - my stomach has dun lopped over my pants. In the true spirit of Christmas, I'm giving...giving myself a break and enjoying the muffin top for a few weeks.

Who needs to be more wound up than usual right now with all the purchasing, festivities, deadlines, and errands? I call it Stressmas. It seems that as soon as December hits, people pull nutters, the freak-out moments beyond their normal behavior. I was in a store looking for some holiday glitz, reached to grab a BCBG mini-dress with sequin accents, and was aggressively challenged for "try-on status" by a snooty fancy-pants lady. Nutter! I smacked her down and bought the dress which turned out to be fortuitous. There it is at my birthday dinner where I met my fav Top Chef Bryan Voltaggio at Volt. >>>>>>

The best way to beat the holiday nutties is to invite joy. We asked an elf to visit our home. The Elf on the Shelf is on the bestseller list and at $30 for a stuffed elf and a book, I thought, "give me a break." http://www.elfontheshelf.com/#/home However, our elf Ziggy is worth EVERY penny. Each night Ziggy hides in a new place and the kiddies wake up to discover if he is in a plant or riding on a reindeer. It is like the surprise of Christmas morning all month. I'm ready for Ziggy to do naughty things like put undies on the Christmas tree or TP someone's bedroom. The storybook says the elf can not be touched but you can talk to him, and Gigi is constantly telling Ziggy about her day. His job is to watch the behavior in the house and report back to Santa. While Ziggy is watching their behavior, I am also trying to watch mine so that I don't end up on the Nutty list.

P.S. By the way, I've never had so many birthday wishes (thank you!) and my 35th birthday was simply perfect - breakfast and cards with DD & G, Facial at Red Door, Sombrero lunch at Guapos with Deb, flowers from Dan my man, and the amazing dinner with Brooks & Pete.