Showing posts with label wild life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wild life. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Nice Rack

Wildlife is encroaching on suburban sprawl. Five raccoons attacked a woman in Florida this week. Bears are breaking and entering on a regular basis. Deer have taken over the Hamptons, bejeweled like fashionistas with ear tags and neck tracking devices. Recently, a brazen young buck tracked through our back yard, rubbed his antlers on our trees and ate most of my hostas. Dan said he had a nice rack and it made me think about how the phrase is used to describe a well-endowed woman.

Our racks get a lot of attention. There is a plethora of nicknames - boobies, ta-tas, bazunkas, melons, jugs, titties, hooters, headlights, dirty pillows, gazongas, breasticles, cans, bosom, mammaries. Did I miss any? Our "girls" are loved so much that October is dedicated for National Breast Cancer Awareness. http://www.nbcam.org/index.cfm Ladies, feel your girls. Guys, feel your girl's girls. Get a mammogram. Drink milk. What???? Dr. Northrup, a frequent guest on Oprah, advices us to increase our intake of Vitamin D to help prevent breast cancer. "...researchers determined that women with vitamin D levels above 52 ml have half the risk of developing breast cancer..." More info on the study at http://www.oprah.com/article/health/womenshealth/20090826-orig-christiane-northrup-vitamin-d

I want to honor my "girls" after my first mammogram this month. I'm going to buy some pretty lingerie as a tribute to my "peaches." Glamour magazine uses fruit for "cup comparison": A cup is the size of a kiwi, B cup are peaches, C cup are apples, D cup = oranges, E cup is a grapefruit and F cup is the size of a coconut. If you honor your fruit, watch out for the booby trap gimmicks such as the Nipple Erector Set or the Brava Breast Enhancement System. I'm going for a bra that makes my breasties look sexy in the hopes of promoting more wild life in suburbia.

*** Be educated about Inflammatory Breast Cancer which is not detectable in a mammogram and progresses quickly. http://www.nbcam.org/disease_inflammatory_breast_cancer.cfm This type of breast cancer is called "inflammatory" because the breast often looks swollen and red, or "inflamed" IBC accounts for 1 to 5 percent of all breast cancer cases in the U.S.

*** I dedicate this entry to Julie's "breasty dumplings."