Don't be a drag, just be a queen

I've got the vapors - tying up a tutu, putting on a wig, and glitterizing skin creates euphoria for a costume-loving, 40-something SAHM (Stay At Home Mom). Had to do it for my hang with Lady Gaga at the second stop on her Born This Way tour. Three things I said yesterday that I've never said before:

1. "Do you mind if I wear the same wig as you?"- to my friend Deb.
2. "I'll be ready in 10 minutes...I need to put on my tutu." - to the taxi driver.
3. "I hope I don't get pee on my ribbons" - tutu satin and urine not good.

I'm gaga for Gaga - she sings and dances for 2 hours in 10 inch heels AND plays the piano in a bikini and fishnets! Also noteworthy, lady was inspired to perform because she was bullied in school, doesn't lie about drinking whiskey & smoking weed while she writes, fights for equal rights, AND preaches while she performs, "don't leave here loving me more, leave loving yourself more." The 24 year old claims in the 60 Minutes interview that changing her name from Stefani Germanotta to Lady Gaga, inspired by Queen's Radio Gaga, allowed her to leave behind a massive amount of insecurities. http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7346544n Maybe I'll change my artist name to "Sizzle", which is a nickname that came about at a restaurant because the maitre d thought the "Cecil party" was actually the "Sizzle party." If I use the pseudonym, I'll honor Gaga's rules:

Don't lie about what you do when you write - there's a crawlspace involved but more on that in another entry.

Be eccentric...maybe I'll show up at the bus stop in my blue leopard pj's.

Write about provocative subject matter - The shrews in the drop-off line at school are getting a lot of air time on the town list serve.

Perform in something outrageous - At the next comedy open mic, game on! Forget the "TART" tube top. Anyone know how to make a spark-shooting bra and thong?

Until then, I'll keep workin' my skirt to live up to the words, "Don't be a drag, just be a queen...baby you were born this way!"

Five Minutes to Funny

What has been going on? Two months have passed since I last posted...been busy doing an adult swim - wading in the shallow end of comedy, treading the murky waters of joke delivery, and diving onto the stage. Many people say that doing stand-up is one of their biggest fears. For me, it is a rush to get a laugh. The "Five Minutes to Funny" class was taught at the DC Improv by comedian Chris Coccia, who sounds like a cartoon character, and should have his own show. He helped me craft the minivan into a sex machine.

It all started last year at The School of Womanly Arts* new-talent showcase. I told a cautionary tale about how I ended my "practice marriage" after I landed in the infectious and tropical disease center. The laughter was not expected. However, the laughs made me want more. From there, I took a Barbara Stanny** workshop and she asked us to do a "stretch" - something outrageous, something new. So, I did what 99.835% of the population would not do - try stand up. I'm a delusional mom thinking that the suburbs are full of humor, depending on your pov.

Here's a snipet of my "set" in the hopes that you are inspired to do a stretch and try something you never thought you'd do.

If the Odyssey's a rockin...

* Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts http://www.mamagenas.com/
** Barbara Stanny http://barbarastanny.com/