Wednesday, April 7, 2010

The Bee Charmer

A Southern peach exudes a thing or two about beauty that makes her one nice piece of fruit. Here is the know-how that came rushing back as we enjoyed a bluegrass hootenanny.
  • The higher the hair, the closer to heaven. While the days of Final Net are thankfully over, they served their purpose. Many a gal had pageant hair and some had to support a tiara back in the day. Now it is about BIG SEXY HAIR and it is inspiring. I bought the hair spray as a consolation.
  • If there's music, shake your money maker. My pappy doesn't walk around, he jigs like there is a soundtrack playing through his day. There were lots of people feeling the music, including my Gigi who was workin' her skirt on the dance floor.
  • Wear lipstick - the redder the better. It makes your teeth look whiter. Now if you know me for 5 minutes, I'm re-applying my Plum Dandy or Viva Glam. Mama n'em told me "presentation is everything."
  • Find your nature in nature. The sign at the Wetlands said, "You may touch the beaver... very very gently." Had to get a close-up...
  • There are lots of uses for the phrase "bless your heart." We have an 80 year old relative who pats a man's bottom instead of hugging him while she bestows her blessing. I figure, when you're 80, you can do whatever you want. She initiated Dan into the family at the Cecil Family Fish Fry a few years back and he liked it enough to stay. It is especially useful to use the line when someone needs a hug OR OR OR if you find them offensive. There was a lady at the bluegrass festival holding a 3 month old baby with a litter of other toddlers around her. She asked the snake wrangler at the reptile exhibit, "Do you have a small python, I have little kids." I sent her a bless your heart thought, as much for her question as for her Mohawk. (She's not in this picture but there is the python.)
  • Charm and good manners open a door as good as an ivy league education. There is no other way to explain the opportunities I had in my career - working in London, Hong Kong, promotions, management positions. It's about respect for others in this "me" world. More times that I can shake a stick at, my kids hear my recording, "Say, thank you. Say please. Try again with your manners." And at the hoedown, we got extra BBQ sauce! It made me repeat one of my favorite movie lines from Fried Green Tomatoes, "You are a bee charmer." Towanda!

1 comment:

  1. I think southern women can account for part of the hole in the ozone layer -- you know our high hair has been scratching away at the ozone for quite some time now. So great to see you bee charmer -- stay true to those southern roots. Next time I see you, we'll be at the beach! xoxox